Oh Endorphins, How I’ve Missed You

So the last time I wrote I told you that I would talk about my liver surgery; I don’t want to bore you with all the details, but essentially I had a non-cancerous (but uber dangerous) tumor, known as a hepatic adenoma removed from my liver on November 6th.  The tumor itself was about 5cm x 5cm and I’ve been told that it was caused by taking the birth control pill.  Scary, right?  Moral of the story: think very carefully before putting chemicals in your body that alter your hormones – chaos may ensue.  No seriously, I really do think hormonal birth control has provided huge benefits to women the world over in the last few decades, but altering the normal cycles of your body is scary shit…won’t be doing that again!

Anyway, the surgery was a success, but the recovery part kinda sucked.  I was in the hospital for a week and unable to do much of anything for quite a while after that.  Despite the fact that my surgical team removed such a large chunk from my liver, the liver itself was fully regenerated in 2 or 3 weeks.  Crazy stat, I know.  So it wasn’t the liver that caused trouble, it was the incision.  My incision is pretty big – it runs from just below my sternum to just above my belly button, and then over to the right about 5 inches.  Basically, they cut through my abs in two directions.  It’s healed up really nicely and I’ve been using Mepiform self-adhesive bandages to reduce the scaring, but it’s still REALLY obvious.  Maybe I’ll post a pic someday when my belly is back to looking sexy enough that I’m comfortable sharing it on the internet.  For now? Not so much.

endorphinsAnd there lies the rub.  For a month after my surgery I wasn’t allowed to do ANYTHING – no yoga, no circuits, no running – it was awful.  I’ve been able to do some things for the past 4 weeks, but I’ve had to take it really easy.  Yup, definitely got a little softer in places than I like to be.  I know I can get back to smaller pants, defined arms, and a flat tummy with some healthy eating and hard work, but it really sucks to realize how much strength I’ve lost.  On top of that, if you read my last post, you will know that this has been a pretty dark time in my life.  It’s incredibly tough to go through that much suckiness and not be able to use the one outlet that actually makes me feel better every single time.  Exercise = endorphins, and endorphins rule…so not being able to experience them made me want to rip my face off.  I found myself being sad, and a little bit crazy – A LOT, and the one source of achieving an endorphin rush that I was able to access wasn’t exactly healthy, or even very regular for that matter.  I’ll leave that one alone for now, but I will say that I’m pretty pumped to be able to access endorphins through exercise, and as a result get back to the happy Chrissy I much prefer to be.

So onward and upward from here, right?  Yesterday – January 1st – was exactly 8 weeks post-op for me, and therefore the date where I’m allowed to start working myself back up to full workouts again.  I’ll be honest, I got a little drunk for New Year’s Eve, so didn’t exactly get up at 6am to fit in a workout yesterday, but that’s just fine.  Today is a new day, right?  Operation get happy and feel sexy starts right now.