Unscrewing the Lightbulb

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I saw this graphic on a friend’s Facebook page last week, and I’ve been thinking about it off and on since then.  I messaged her to ask if I could write a blog post about it, since the image stuck with me so intensely.

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Here’s the thing:  I REALLY wish it was true.  But it’s not…and yet, it also IS.  Yeah, yeah.  I know that’s really convoluted, so let me explain.  Tearing someone else down DOES NOT build me up, in fact, I believe the opposite is true.  If I talk shit about someone else – especially about another woman – not only does it make me feel crappy about myself, but it very likely makes others think less of me as well…certainly not the way to shine, right?

And yet, I have plenty of recollections of conversations and thoughts from my past where I unfairly and ridiculously judged other women.  I was such an asshole. I’m not sure I would call myself a bully – usually it was small-scale assholery, like whispers or sideways smirks with a friend – completely out of earshot of the person we were mocking; more often it was silent judgements about my own perceived superiority.  I sometimes noticed and commented if other women had gained or lost weight, or gotten a haircut I didn’t like, or wore clothing that fit their body in a way that I deemed less than acceptable.  I judged women who had sex with “too many” men, and those who “acted like a prude.”  I acted superior to women who chose to terminate pregnancies, or parented in ways that I didn’t agree with, or spent their money on luxuries that I scoffed at, yet often secretly coveted.  I wasn’t joking when I told you I was an asshole.

The most ridiculous part of this for me is that I didn’t ACTUALLY think I was better than these other women; in most cases, it was my own feelings of inadequacy, self-loathing, and lack that lead me to judging, whilst subconsciously trying to assert and raise my own value.  I was trying to unscrew other women’s lightbulbs, in some awful, ridiculous, misguided, and downright mean attempt at brightening my own.  That was stupid.  And pathetic. And wrong.

But I’m learning.  and I’m getting better – or at least I’m trying.  I’ve made some significant revelations about my own motivations, and I’ve had a BIG TIME change of heart.  Now I try really hard to stay in my lane and mind my own Goddamn business, and I’ve also come to wholeheartedly embrace the phrase, “good for her, but not for me.”

You see, none of those things that I used to judge other women about are even remotely my business, and they are certainly not judgement worthy.  Whatever other women choose to do with their time, their money, their bodies, and their lives is entirely up to them, entirely fine by me, and entirely none of my business, unless of course I’m trying to help them shine.  I won’t be unscrewing any lightbulbs from here on out…I want women to light up the whole fucking world.

The Pragmatic Hippie’s Thoughts on Safer Skincare

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BCThose of you who know me in real life, or have been following this page for a while have probably realized that I’m a bit “granola” and kind of a “hippie.” It’s totally true, and there is no use denying it. I like to hang my laundry on the line when it’s warm enough, I use essential oils regularly (though I’ve made some important changes about HOW I use them), I try to avoid harmful synthetic chemicals, I typically try to reduce my carbon footprint, and I use a shit tonne of coconut oil. I even tried making my own laundry detergent for a while. PRO-TIP: don’t do that; it doesn’t really work, and you will smell faintly of BO, even with freshly washed clothes on.
In addition to being a hippie, though, I’m also a pragmatist, so after a whole bunch of spectacular failures, I have finally come to realize that I prefer to make decisions based on real life, and actual EVIDENCE. Part of that is recognizing that synthetic doesn’t always mean BAD, and “natural” doesn’t always mean safe. Seriously – I can’t count the number of times that I’ve heard someone utter the phrase, “it can’t hurt you because it’s NATURAL.”
Umm…have you ever heard of poison ivy? How about rattlesnake venom? That shit is ALL NATURAL my friends, but that doesn’t make it safe!
I now know that it’s better to have information about what I’m putting into and on my body, and then making logical decisions based on that evidence. Sometimes I opt for the cheapest, or most convenient options, even when that doesn’t entail making something from scratch, or choosing all organic. That means my kid knows that fries come from drivethroughs, and I do a lot of online shopping for the convenience factor, even though I try to shop local when it works, It’s called BALANCE. And sanity.
So all of that brings me to talking about skincare and makeup products: I’ve tried a bunch of different things in recent years. Some of it was totally organic and “natural” but didn’t work worth a shit. Some of it was kinda effective, but took a whole bunch of effort, or contained ingredients that I didn’t feel good about, or didn’t know what they were (if you’re interested, ask me more about what the ingredient “fragrance” tells you about a product. HINT: the answer is kinda terrifying). Some of it contained “natural” ingredients that were unregulated, and I later found out were actually harmful.  All of the stuff I tried was lacking enough that I kept searching for something better. And I think I’ve found it! For the last few months I’ve been using Beautycounter skincare products. Beautycounter is committed to making the world healthier, and to getting safer products into our homes and our hands. They have a “never list” of crap products that they just won’t use – even if both the US and Canada are actually pretty terrible at regulating personal care products, and they are very transparent about what ingredients are in each of their products.  On top of providing safer products, I can honestly say that the Beautycounter products I’ve been using over the last little while are really fantastic and effective as well – my skin is doing great, even though I’m less than 6 months postpartum, which means I’m both hormonal and tired as Hell.  It’s good stuff:  safer, effective skincare, body care, and make up products that you can feel good about using for yourself and your families.  Check out a video here.
I promise NOT to be one of those super annoying people who post every day with a giveaway or a contest or a promotion, but I DO think this stuff is pretty great, so if I’m going to talk about it with my friends,  I might as well try to make some cash…so YUP – I want to sell you shit.  But I won’t be an asshole about it.  If you want to know more, just ask, or if you’re already sold, you can visit https://www.beautycounter.com/en-ca/chrissybaker/ to order some really great stuff that you can trust is safe to use.

 

I’m Thankful for Many Things…Including Grown Up Mac n’ Cheese

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Happy Canadian Thanksgiving dear readers! I’ve been absent from the blog for a long time, and I figure that Thanksgiving is as good a time as any to foray back into the blogging world – mostly because it’s Sunday evening, … Continue reading

Oh Endorphins, How I’ve Missed You

So the last time I wrote I told you that I would talk about my liver surgery; I don’t want to bore you with all the details, but essentially I had a non-cancerous (but uber dangerous) tumor, known as a hepatic adenoma removed from my liver on November 6th.  The tumor itself was about 5cm x 5cm and I’ve been told that it was caused by taking the birth control pill.  Scary, right?  Moral of the story: think very carefully before putting chemicals in your body that alter your hormones – chaos may ensue.  No seriously, I really do think hormonal birth control has provided huge benefits to women the world over in the last few decades, but altering the normal cycles of your body is scary shit…won’t be doing that again!

Anyway, the surgery was a success, but the recovery part kinda sucked.  I was in the hospital for a week and unable to do much of anything for quite a while after that.  Despite the fact that my surgical team removed such a large chunk from my liver, the liver itself was fully regenerated in 2 or 3 weeks.  Crazy stat, I know.  So it wasn’t the liver that caused trouble, it was the incision.  My incision is pretty big – it runs from just below my sternum to just above my belly button, and then over to the right about 5 inches.  Basically, they cut through my abs in two directions.  It’s healed up really nicely and I’ve been using Mepiform self-adhesive bandages to reduce the scaring, but it’s still REALLY obvious.  Maybe I’ll post a pic someday when my belly is back to looking sexy enough that I’m comfortable sharing it on the internet.  For now? Not so much.

endorphinsAnd there lies the rub.  For a month after my surgery I wasn’t allowed to do ANYTHING – no yoga, no circuits, no running – it was awful.  I’ve been able to do some things for the past 4 weeks, but I’ve had to take it really easy.  Yup, definitely got a little softer in places than I like to be.  I know I can get back to smaller pants, defined arms, and a flat tummy with some healthy eating and hard work, but it really sucks to realize how much strength I’ve lost.  On top of that, if you read my last post, you will know that this has been a pretty dark time in my life.  It’s incredibly tough to go through that much suckiness and not be able to use the one outlet that actually makes me feel better every single time.  Exercise = endorphins, and endorphins rule…so not being able to experience them made me want to rip my face off.  I found myself being sad, and a little bit crazy – A LOT, and the one source of achieving an endorphin rush that I was able to access wasn’t exactly healthy, or even very regular for that matter.  I’ll leave that one alone for now, but I will say that I’m pretty pumped to be able to access endorphins through exercise, and as a result get back to the happy Chrissy I much prefer to be.

So onward and upward from here, right?  Yesterday – January 1st – was exactly 8 weeks post-op for me, and therefore the date where I’m allowed to start working myself back up to full workouts again.  I’ll be honest, I got a little drunk for New Year’s Eve, so didn’t exactly get up at 6am to fit in a workout yesterday, but that’s just fine.  Today is a new day, right?  Operation get happy and feel sexy starts right now.

I’m Back!

I’ve been a horrible blogger for the longest time, mostly because I haven’t been blogging at all.  Whoops – my bad.  But I’ve missed it, and I’ve missed you, and I’ve decided that it’s time to get back on this horse.  Plus, a few lovely peeps have encouraged me to re-start by telling me how much they miss reading my blog.  That must mean that – gasp! – someone enjoys my writing.  So here we go again…

I know, I know…I shouldn’t make excuses.  But you know what?  I’m going to anyway – mostly because if you followed my blog in the past, you will probably be confused if I don’t bring you up to speed.  A LOT has happened in my life, and it’s been a rough 5 months: my husband and I separated (faithful husbands are really more my style), I lost a pregnancy, and I underwent major abdominal surgery to remove a liver tumor.  Yup I know – a little overwhelming, right?  So there you have it – I’ve been thinking about things other than blogging – but now that I’m finally healing from my surgery (and healing emotionally, as well, I suppose) I am ready to move back into health and wellness endeavours on a full-time basis.  And guess what? Blogging about it helps to keep me accountable.

I’ve decided that no matter what setbacks I may have experienced in recent months, the best thing for me to do is to find the positive spin, or at least to avoid dwelling on the negative side of certain events…so that’s what I’m doing!  I may not be up for writing about marriage and fertility problems for quite a while, and that’s okay, but I do want to talk about my surgery and the recovery process.  But alas, it is Christmas time and I have gifts to wrap…so my surgery story will have to wait for next time!

Hiatus and Good News

Hello my dears!  Just wanted to post a quick note to say that I’ve been traveling all over Alberta and Saskatchewan, and for the precious few snippets of time that I’ve been home, I haven’t been able to hang out much at my actual home.  You see, we are having renovations done, so we’ve got tradespeople trying to get some work done, and they probably don’t want me pestering them, so I’ve been leaving them alone.  Because they’re here, I had to go to the lake (oh, poor me – right?!  Supremely kidding – I LOVE it at our family cabin!), but there isn’t any Internet access there, so alas there have been no posts lately.  Annnnnddddd I’m heading back there tonight – I don’t even have a toilet here, so there isn’t much point in sticking around home!  That means I probably won’t post anything else for another week-ish.  I think you’ll survive without me.

Before I go, though, I want to share some happy news:  today I wrote my last yoga exam, so I AM COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY DONE my 200 hour teacher training.  I won’t be certain until I get the marks back, but I feel pretty good about today’s test…and I felt pretty good about the last one too.  I got that exam back today, and guess what?  90%!!!  That’s right – I’m a smartie-pants.  I’m being facetious, but I am pretty proud of myself, and it’s fabulous to be finished.  Amazing feeling, I tell ya!  Now I just have to wait for my certificate to arrive so it feels even more official…oh, and then I’ll probably enroll in the 300hour add on when my teachers offer it a little later on (but don’t tell my husband – he thinks all this fitness learnin’ business is OVER!).

Anyway, I’m off to the lake – I hope your summer has been delightful so far and only continues to get better!